The Nonsensical Need to Keep Up with... Yourself

On rest, reclaiming agency, and letting goals expire

I had every intention to publish this piece during the first week of January, but with the wildfires happening in Los Angeles where I reside, my mind has been all-consumed by evacuation updates, concern for friends, and keeping things as normal as possible for my daughter who has been out of school (after a 3-week winter break I might add). At first I thought, “Shit. This was supposed to be a timely and relevant read for the new year, not something posted weeks later. Should I just scrap it altogether?” But then I realized how much that thought pattern literally played into the very thing I’m telling you to avoid in this article… the pressure to keep up with yourself.

So, after embracing some self-compassion, I could care less that this is being published a couple weeks “late”. Honestly, it’s still as relevant as ever and I hope it resonates for you!

To the City of Los Angeles —my heart is with you. We will rebuild, albeit slowly, which I’m learning is the only pace forward, allowing us to move with purpose and poignant perspective.

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I can tell you with absolute certainty that the most exhausting competition I’ve ever entered is the one against my own expectations. While I’ll always be a proponent for growth, the still very apparent pressure to top last year’s highlights as soon as the ball drops is simply not serving us. In a culture obsessed with progress and productivity, maybe the bravest thing we can do is stop trying to outdo ourselves.

January is for rest, not reinvention. It’s still Winter after all! That means, everything should slow down, not speed up. Spring will come soon enough. For the first time in years, I’m resisting the need to start planning new year goals or hit the ground running. Personally, my connection to nature and the rhythm of the seasons became increasingly stronger after becoming a mother. So, I say if nature is designed to slow down during this particular month on the calendar, then so are we.

Feeling the urge to go inward? Take it.
Tired and introverted? Sleep allllll the way in.
Naturally a homebody? It’s your time, baby.

This internal pressure to constantly surpass our personal bests surely stems from the external validation cycles we garner from our use of social media. Let me be the one to gently remind you (as I remind myself) that life is a journey, not a performance. It’s absolutely absurd that we get caught up in living for a virtual audience or that “if we don’t post it, it never happened”.

Can we agree to let that phrase die? When did we start living for others instead of ourselves? And how do we stop?

The quiet confidence of those who are perfectly content connecting to their own private offline experiences is a rarity and something to be sought after. In an age of instant gratification, let’s be a little rebellious and play the long game instead.

Doing so would allow us to take a beat regularly to re-assess, and stop operating on auto-pilot. Maybe then we would realize that the checklists we’ve had an iron grip on actually no longer align or serve the person we’ve become. Here’s your permission to liberate yourself of old ambitions and actually allow your goals to expire.

Because growth includes changing your mind, too.

I can’t tell you how many scribbled down goals and ideas I have collecting digital dust in my notes app that I’m too scared to delete just incase I’ll need them one day. But the thing is, if I never set them in motion, they’ll remain stagnant forever. So from now on, I’m making the choice to either press go (in the smallest or biggest way), or take them out of the game for good.

My wish for you this year is to shed yourself of the external pressures, discover a deeper sense of self, and focus on long-term fulfillment. If success is measured by how well we’re living for ourselves, not for others, then maybe slowing down isn’t falling behind—it’s finally catching up.

I’d love to hear what goals you’re giving up on and which ones you’re giving way to in 2025. Tell me about ‘em!